Saturday, May 31, 2008

Lack of sleep

There are so many times I think of great things to write, but don’t get to the computer and I forget. The times I do seem to get to the computer sometimes are when I’m angry about something. Or sulking… I suppose no one wants to interrupt or get in the way by the time I’m this frustrated about something….

Last night it was my goal to get to bed by 10:30. I am sleep deprived, a lot of it my own fault. But the crazy thing is when I'm not keeping myself up, when I've decided I'm going to put myself to bed, that's when the world conspires against me and turns itself on at 10:00 pm. Last night Hubby called about 9:00, just as I was brushing the girls' teeth. I was running late night, I like getting them down by 8:30, so I was late anyway. I talked to him for half an hour, and one of the primary motivations for him to call was to talk to me about Vegas. He’s asked me before if I thought it would be a good idea, but I’ve spaced off looking into it. Well, he had to respond about the hotel, and needed to know if I was willing to come out and bring the girls.

So, the girls ran amok while I talked on the phone to him for half an hour, then it was close to 10:00 pm. by the time they got in bed. This means it’s 10:00 pm by the time I start my internet search to see if there’s enough stuff for the girls to do in Vegas to justify bringing them. Of course, it’s close to 11:00 by the time I’ve looked everything up, figured out which Cirque du Soleil show would work, etc. etc. etc. and called and left a message for Hubby, who took a red-eye from San Francisco to Michigan or somewhere last night, so he could respond about the hotel.

One of the options would be to leave the girls with my folks and go to Vegas ourselves. So I called my mother as I crawled into bed, right close to 11:00, to see if she could take the girls, if that would even be an option. Of course we talked for close to half an hour, forty mintues or so.

Finally I went to sleep, pushing midnight. Thing 2 woke me up at 4:30, calling from her room… I went in and she said “I want to give you a hug.” No nightmare,… No drink of water… no rolled out of bed. A hug. Couldn’t the hug wait until DAYLIGHT???? I give her a hug, go to the bathroom, and stumble back to bed.

At 6:07 she is standing next to my bed with her new teddy bear she got at a build-a-bear birthday party last night. She wants me to put his shirt on. She took it off last night so he could sleep more comfortably, and it’s ten minutes after six, the sun is hardly up, and she’s waking me up to put his shirt on. I beg her to go back to sleep. Don’t wake up Thing 1 (in the top bunk), just go back to sleep. She very quickly dissolves into tears. FINE! I sit up and grab the bear and put on its shirt to shut her up. OF course I don’t look too far into the future, to realize that

1) My sitting up and putting on the shirt in a huff causes her to completely dissolve into tears.

2) What’s she going to do once she has the bear’s shirt on but bother me?

I beg her to be quiet, she cries, this goes on for a few moments. Finally she toddles off in a huff. Of course she wakes up Thing 1.

Thing 1 comes in and cuddles with me. We try to sleep, but really just listen to Thing 2 cry for a while in the next room about how much I don’t love her anymore. Finally she stops crying and comes in wrapped in a sympathy blanket and I pull her into bed with us and cuddle her until she seems okay. She frets about her dance recital today. I try to calm her down. Then she and Thing 1 wander off. It’s about 6:40 am. I roll over and go back to sleep.

For approximately three mintues. Thing 2 comes in and asks me to get the box for her build-a-bear. I lay there for a minute thinking what can I say… It’s totally futile to try and sleep anymore, it’s just frustrating me, so finally I just get up. She runs out screaming “No! No! I just wanted you to say yes or no!!!!” As though I was coming to get her and flay her or something.

So I am up. It’s 7:30, a big day with the dance dress rehersal, the concert, and my folks coming around 4:00 to our totally messy house. I have to go pick up our first co-op food drop. I’ve had a six hours of sleep (wildly interrupted sleep) on my grand catch-up sleep period.

I feel like so tired and incompetent all the time, like I’m going through a sticky sleep haze trying to function. It’s time to clean up the kitchen, the toy room, finish the laundry, get the co-op, and get Thing 2 to her rehearsal. I want to cry. Maybe I will. Just have a good cry to myself. While I vacuum.


The dance recital was great, it was nice to have Grandma and Papa there for it.
Thing 2 did very well.

This is from the dress rehersal...

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