I Fought The Lawn, and The Lawn Won

While waiting for the dishwasher repairman today, I decided to mow the front yard.


There is this whole mulching vs bagging issue.  I had no idea there was an issue until today.  I just knew my husband had a discussion with the guy at Home Depot about mulching.  So I figured we were mulchers.  I would mulch.


So I started mowing the lawn.  I did not bag, I mulched.  I left behind an unsightly trail of lumpy clumps and skimmed lawn trimmings.  It was unattractive.  Then I remembered hearing my dad say something about if you go over the lawn again, it will cut the leftovers even smaller, and that would improve the mulch.  Or something like that.
So I mowed again.
It didn't improve anything.

Many women in my situation would call their husband at this point.  But my husband is probably talking to the vice president of a VERY MAJOR company that I may or may not be able to mention, or is in a meeting with a group of highly paid executives, or whatever, and just can't take calls from his wife about the lawn mower.  So I don't call him in the middle of the day.  
I turn to my other go-to guys.
My Dad, first, because he's retired.  But he was here until 10:30 last night installing my new bathroom lights (photos to follow) and then had a two hour drive home.  This is a man who usually is tucked in bed with the covers pulled up to his chin and snoring by 10:00.  My mother informed me he was still snoring when I called around 9:00 a.m. this morning.
So I called my brother.
First I need to say I got totally lucky in the brother department.  I knocked it out of the ballpark, so to speak.  In the whole sibling department, really, as my sister is INCREDIBLE, but at this moment I'm focusing on my brother.  Who is married with four daughters and has a busy full time job, yet he took an hour out of his morning to advise me on lawns, lawn care, lawn mowers, and lawn mower maintenance.  
After we had discussed everything else that needed to be discussed, we got down to the brass tacks of lawns, and mulching.  First he told me I need to bring him my lawn mower blade so he can sharpen it.  Because nothing slows down a mower more than a dull blade.
Then he told me that unless I'm trimming less than an inch off the lawn, and unless it's hot enough to turn my yard into the compost environment required to properly mulch, I should bag.
All right.  So I wrap up the conversation and go back to mow again, this time with the bag.  I went ten yards, hit a metal sprinkler head and bent the blade out of shape.
A trip to Home Depot later, I returned with a new blade ($17, cheaper than having a blacksmith repair my old one, the Home Depot guy assured me), and proceeded to mow for the 3rd time in one day.  
But now my law has that lovely tartan pattern that my brother said is typical of Wrigley Field.
Totally not worth it.  
I am definitely a once over mower.