Thing 2's arm is healing nicely. She can go a couple hours longer than required for pain medication dosage, and has gotten outside quite a bit this week.
Today she and Thing 1 were working up ways to play on the swing which did not put her arm at risk. They were having a grand time, Thing 2 told me they "laughed until they went silent." When they laugh and laugh but no sound comes out, just big gasps now and again. Then she said, "That's something kids do when they think something is sooo funny!" I told her I know what that is and she said, "It's great when you're having so much fun you laugh to mute!"
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
A Break from Summer
I haven't been blogging much. Kinda quiet. Until this week.
School is over, Hubby was in town for the end of year festival. The girls had a ball.
The girls had their first swimming lesson last Wednesday, I think they're really going to enjoy it.
Hubby left on June 13th for a European trip - to return tonight. Since he was going to be out of town for Father's Day, I decided to take the girls to my folks' house, better a grandfather than no father at all. We took Hubby to breakfast the morning before he left and did a little Father's Day with him. After we dropped him off at the airport, we went on a quick house hunting trip to Park City and found a house that is kind of likely. The girls both love it, anyway.
On Friday we drove to my folk's house.
One of the big draws up there is my sister, who lives nearby, and her horses. From the minute we got to my folk's, the girls were asking when they could go riding. Turned out Monday would work best, right after lunch, but she only had the two horses, Annie who's kinda skittish and she could ride, and Chaz, who the kids have ridden before. They decided they'd ride double and they'd go to a trail that runs along the foothills of the valley. Thing 2 was in front on the way up, and on the way back Thing 1 would ride in front.
I have to apologize for my pictures being blurry, my real camera is broken and all my pictures are coming from my phone.
I took the dog for a walk along the trail behind them, but they were soon out of sight. I walked for about half an hour, then turned around and headed back to the car. The trail wasn't far above the housing developments along the foothills. And there was a guy just off the trail digging up Dyer's Woad. All I know about Dyer's Woad is what I've heard my sister saying it's the bane of her life, she has to dig it up out of the hay fields. It's awful stuff.
The dog and I got back to the car and waited for about 10 minutes. Then my sister came riding pell mell down the trail, leading the 2nd horse. She hollered that Thing 2 had fallen off and probably broken her arm, and was down the trail about a mile. Thing 1 was with her. My sister was nearly crying herself, leaving the two of them up there on the trail, but she didn't have her cell phone with her and needed to get me and the car up there. Luckily there was a housing development road dead ended close by.
I drove like a madwoman up the road paralleling the trail, and saw the Woad digging guy running up the trail. I pulled off and hopped out of the car and ran after him. He made it to the girls first. I barely looked at them, I saw a road coming up the hill, closer to where they were than where I'd parked. I asked if the Woad guy could stay with them for a minute, he seemed much calmer than I was, and I ran back to my car, and careened around to the closer road.
The Woad guy was carrying Thing 2 down the side of the mountain toward my car when I parked. Thing 1 was behind him, very upset. Thing 2 was crying a lot less than I would have expected. The Woad guy had a little nylon bag that he had put Thing 2's arm in, and slung the cords behind her neck, in kind of a loose makeshift sling. He carried her to my car and put her in the front seat. My sister had loaded the horses and was behind me in her truck, and told me how to the get to the hospital. I know how to get to the hospital, but turned stupid for a moment, and had to be told the cross streets. In retrospect I should have sent the dog with her. But it just meant he had to sit in the car in the Emergency room parking lot until she could come get him, after she unloaded the horses.
I called my parents on the way to the hospital, Thing 1 needed some different clothes (she'd kinda got hers dirty) and they got to the hospital before the doctors were ready for Thing 2. After x-rays confirmed it was broken, the doctor told us not only was it broken, but it was broken badly, and we'd need to take her to Primary Children's to have them operate. It was what they call a Supracondylar fracture of the elbow. The little knob right above your elbow on the big bone there just snapped right off, and the two ends of the bone were overlapped lying next to each other. Not something they deal with at that hospital. They'd called ahead and so we shouldn't have to wait long for the orthopedic doctor to get to the hospital we were going to.
They gave me the option of driving her, or having her taken in an ambulance. When I asked if there would be any real problem with me taking her the doctor said no, if it was his kid he'd probably take her himself. Okay, we'll do that.
We live about a mile away from Primary Children's, but didn't have time to run back to my folk's house and pack up. The doctor put a splint on her arm, and my dad decided to go with me to the next hospital. My mom took Thing 1 back to her house with her.
We had gotten her to the first hospital around 2:30 in the afternoon, and at 4:30 they gave Thing 2 a big dose of morphine to get us to Primary Children's. What she REALLY wanted was a drink of water, but of course they won't give her that because she has to go under general anesthesia for the operation.
I know a lot of people who drive between where my folks live and Primary Children's hospital fast all the time, but I usually don't. I did on Monday, though. I don't know how much time I saved, it's pretty much an hour and 45 minute drive, I probably only took off 15-20 minutes by speeding as much as I dared whenever I could. I wanted to get her there as fast as an ambulance would. She slept fitfully most of the way. My dad kept assuring me the 10 minutes wouldn't make any difference. And sure enough, when we got there we spent 10 minutes in the emergency room waiting room, then another half hour or so waiting for the doctor.
When the doctor came in she said they had called the orthopedic surgeon, and that there were two other broken elbows that had come in about the same time as us, one with the same break as Thing 2. So it was going to be a busy night for them. She asked about Thing 2's pain, she hadn't been crying but she said it hurt pretty bad, 6 on a scale of 1-10. The doctor asked when she'd last had morphine... 4:30. It was now nearly 7:30. The doctor's eyes popped and she said let's get her some morphine!! I think I took this picture before they even gave her the shot. She was a real trooper.
Thing 2 is my kid who screams over a paper cut. We have learned that despite her inability to handle small amounts of pain, she did amazingly well with a broken arm.
The people at Primary Children's are truly wonderful. Thing 2 kept asking very politely for a drink until the doctor told her she couldn't have one until after the operation. But then she could have a slushee. The nurse said she would make sure there was one waiting for her when she woke up. Then a "children specialist" or some other name for it came in with lots of pictures showing all the rooms where Thing 2 would be taken, and explained in gentle kid terms everything that would happen to her. She gave Thing 2 a little doll, a hospital buddy to decorate up. Thing 2 couldn't use her hands, one was at the end of a broken arm, the other arm was stiff because the people at the other hospital had put a line into it opposite her elbow, so I put a face on the doll, and the child comfort lady put a name tag on her and a cast like Thing 2 was going to get. There was someone in there either comforting her, or checking on her nearly all the time. They told us that they hoped they could operate that night, but it depended on the doctor and the other surgeries.
My mom and sister and Thing 1 back at my mom's house were very anxious to know how things were going. The doctor said I could call, so we put Thing 2 on speaker phone so she could talk to Thing 1. However all our efforts to assure Thing 1 that everything was okay just ended up making her jealous. "I am watching Madagascar 2! They gave me a doll to paint up! We put a cast on it! Oh, they said I can have a slushee!" Thing 1 was saying "LUCKY!!" That backfired. Thing 1 was very lonely and sad that Thing 2 was having all this fun and attention... She couldn't wait to get home.
Finally it started looking like the operation might really happen. Around 8:30 the resident came in and explained to my dad and me what would happen, and answered all our questions. They were going to put three pins in her elbow. There would be a splint for a week, to allow for swelling, and then they would put the cast on her for three weeks.
They came and got her for surgery around 9:00 pm, we found out later that she was the first of the three. The doctor was a truly lovely man, with red hair and a bedside manner that would win him bedside manner awards. By then, any time anyone would ask Thing 2 how she'd hurt her arm the story was getting longer and more detailed, with descriptions of the horse's personality, and the Dyer's Woad guy, and how a stranger on the trail offered her a drink of water but she had politely refused. (The woman had assured her it was a brand new bottle of water, but Thing 2 was embarrassed to contaminate the lady's bottle.) She sure wished she had taken the lady up on her offer! When was that slushee coming? She had all the hospital staff gathered around laughing and beaming at her before we kissed her good-bye and they wheeled her off for her "nap."
The operation took about an hour... Everything went beautifully. Shortly after the doctor came in and told us it went very smoothly and that he wanted to keep Thing 2 because she is so cute and funny and wonderful, I texted Hubby that I needed to talk to him. He's in Switzerland and was just waking up. He called me right before the nurse came in to take us to recovery to see my baby, so I was the completely annoying person talking on the phone while this terribly important thing is going on, but her daddy was on skype to my cell phone, and he had to go to work soon, and he was pretty freaked out by the news, so I couldn't really just brush him off. Thing 2 wasn't really waking up very fast, and since it was 11:30 at night they decided to let her sleep and take her up to her room. So my father and I followed her up there, me filling Hubby in on the cell phone all the way. We got to the room and a nurse followed us into the room carrying a bright red slushee. Thing 2 would have hollered Hallenoonjah! She did start opening her eyes more after she got settled in. Hubby had to go to work, and Thing 2 woke up enough to realize there was a slushee waiting for her and started opening her mouth like a little bird for it.
She drank three little cup things of cranberry juice, and ate the slushee down to the melty part at the bottom which she took with a straw. She was VERY thirsty!
She stayed up watching The Incredibles - I had the DVDs in the car from our trip- and eating and drinking until finally I asked her around 12:30 if she wanted to go to bed. She agreed.
They came in periodically of course to do hospitally stuff, but everything went smoothly. Around 6:00 a.m. they checked her fingers, then told us after she had taken some Loritab with breakfast and we saw how she handled that, she could go.
We got home around 9:30 this morning.
Thing 1 and my mom and sister are going to drive down with the dog. Thing 2 is busy watching TV, and keeping her arm elevated.
She is the one who needs to recover, but I'm the one who needs to sleep.
School is over, Hubby was in town for the end of year festival. The girls had a ball.
The girls had their first swimming lesson last Wednesday, I think they're really going to enjoy it.
Hubby left on June 13th for a European trip - to return tonight. Since he was going to be out of town for Father's Day, I decided to take the girls to my folks' house, better a grandfather than no father at all. We took Hubby to breakfast the morning before he left and did a little Father's Day with him. After we dropped him off at the airport, we went on a quick house hunting trip to Park City and found a house that is kind of likely. The girls both love it, anyway.
On Friday we drove to my folk's house.
One of the big draws up there is my sister, who lives nearby, and her horses. From the minute we got to my folk's, the girls were asking when they could go riding. Turned out Monday would work best, right after lunch, but she only had the two horses, Annie who's kinda skittish and she could ride, and Chaz, who the kids have ridden before. They decided they'd ride double and they'd go to a trail that runs along the foothills of the valley. Thing 2 was in front on the way up, and on the way back Thing 1 would ride in front.
I have to apologize for my pictures being blurry, my real camera is broken and all my pictures are coming from my phone.
The dog and I got back to the car and waited for about 10 minutes. Then my sister came riding pell mell down the trail, leading the 2nd horse. She hollered that Thing 2 had fallen off and probably broken her arm, and was down the trail about a mile. Thing 1 was with her. My sister was nearly crying herself, leaving the two of them up there on the trail, but she didn't have her cell phone with her and needed to get me and the car up there. Luckily there was a housing development road dead ended close by.
I drove like a madwoman up the road paralleling the trail, and saw the Woad digging guy running up the trail. I pulled off and hopped out of the car and ran after him. He made it to the girls first. I barely looked at them, I saw a road coming up the hill, closer to where they were than where I'd parked. I asked if the Woad guy could stay with them for a minute, he seemed much calmer than I was, and I ran back to my car, and careened around to the closer road.
The Woad guy was carrying Thing 2 down the side of the mountain toward my car when I parked. Thing 1 was behind him, very upset. Thing 2 was crying a lot less than I would have expected. The Woad guy had a little nylon bag that he had put Thing 2's arm in, and slung the cords behind her neck, in kind of a loose makeshift sling. He carried her to my car and put her in the front seat. My sister had loaded the horses and was behind me in her truck, and told me how to the get to the hospital. I know how to get to the hospital, but turned stupid for a moment, and had to be told the cross streets. In retrospect I should have sent the dog with her. But it just meant he had to sit in the car in the Emergency room parking lot until she could come get him, after she unloaded the horses.
I called my parents on the way to the hospital, Thing 1 needed some different clothes (she'd kinda got hers dirty) and they got to the hospital before the doctors were ready for Thing 2. After x-rays confirmed it was broken, the doctor told us not only was it broken, but it was broken badly, and we'd need to take her to Primary Children's to have them operate. It was what they call a Supracondylar fracture of the elbow. The little knob right above your elbow on the big bone there just snapped right off, and the two ends of the bone were overlapped lying next to each other. Not something they deal with at that hospital. They'd called ahead and so we shouldn't have to wait long for the orthopedic doctor to get to the hospital we were going to.
They gave me the option of driving her, or having her taken in an ambulance. When I asked if there would be any real problem with me taking her the doctor said no, if it was his kid he'd probably take her himself. Okay, we'll do that.
We live about a mile away from Primary Children's, but didn't have time to run back to my folk's house and pack up. The doctor put a splint on her arm, and my dad decided to go with me to the next hospital. My mom took Thing 1 back to her house with her.
We had gotten her to the first hospital around 2:30 in the afternoon, and at 4:30 they gave Thing 2 a big dose of morphine to get us to Primary Children's. What she REALLY wanted was a drink of water, but of course they won't give her that because she has to go under general anesthesia for the operation.
I know a lot of people who drive between where my folks live and Primary Children's hospital fast all the time, but I usually don't. I did on Monday, though. I don't know how much time I saved, it's pretty much an hour and 45 minute drive, I probably only took off 15-20 minutes by speeding as much as I dared whenever I could. I wanted to get her there as fast as an ambulance would. She slept fitfully most of the way. My dad kept assuring me the 10 minutes wouldn't make any difference. And sure enough, when we got there we spent 10 minutes in the emergency room waiting room, then another half hour or so waiting for the doctor.
When the doctor came in she said they had called the orthopedic surgeon, and that there were two other broken elbows that had come in about the same time as us, one with the same break as Thing 2. So it was going to be a busy night for them. She asked about Thing 2's pain, she hadn't been crying but she said it hurt pretty bad, 6 on a scale of 1-10. The doctor asked when she'd last had morphine... 4:30. It was now nearly 7:30. The doctor's eyes popped and she said let's get her some morphine!! I think I took this picture before they even gave her the shot. She was a real trooper.
The people at Primary Children's are truly wonderful. Thing 2 kept asking very politely for a drink until the doctor told her she couldn't have one until after the operation. But then she could have a slushee. The nurse said she would make sure there was one waiting for her when she woke up. Then a "children specialist" or some other name for it came in with lots of pictures showing all the rooms where Thing 2 would be taken, and explained in gentle kid terms everything that would happen to her. She gave Thing 2 a little doll, a hospital buddy to decorate up. Thing 2 couldn't use her hands, one was at the end of a broken arm, the other arm was stiff because the people at the other hospital had put a line into it opposite her elbow, so I put a face on the doll, and the child comfort lady put a name tag on her and a cast like Thing 2 was going to get. There was someone in there either comforting her, or checking on her nearly all the time. They told us that they hoped they could operate that night, but it depended on the doctor and the other surgeries.
My mom and sister and Thing 1 back at my mom's house were very anxious to know how things were going. The doctor said I could call, so we put Thing 2 on speaker phone so she could talk to Thing 1. However all our efforts to assure Thing 1 that everything was okay just ended up making her jealous. "I am watching Madagascar 2! They gave me a doll to paint up! We put a cast on it! Oh, they said I can have a slushee!" Thing 1 was saying "LUCKY!!" That backfired. Thing 1 was very lonely and sad that Thing 2 was having all this fun and attention... She couldn't wait to get home.
Finally it started looking like the operation might really happen. Around 8:30 the resident came in and explained to my dad and me what would happen, and answered all our questions. They were going to put three pins in her elbow. There would be a splint for a week, to allow for swelling, and then they would put the cast on her for three weeks.
They came and got her for surgery around 9:00 pm, we found out later that she was the first of the three. The doctor was a truly lovely man, with red hair and a bedside manner that would win him bedside manner awards. By then, any time anyone would ask Thing 2 how she'd hurt her arm the story was getting longer and more detailed, with descriptions of the horse's personality, and the Dyer's Woad guy, and how a stranger on the trail offered her a drink of water but she had politely refused. (The woman had assured her it was a brand new bottle of water, but Thing 2 was embarrassed to contaminate the lady's bottle.) She sure wished she had taken the lady up on her offer! When was that slushee coming? She had all the hospital staff gathered around laughing and beaming at her before we kissed her good-bye and they wheeled her off for her "nap."
The operation took about an hour... Everything went beautifully. Shortly after the doctor came in and told us it went very smoothly and that he wanted to keep Thing 2 because she is so cute and funny and wonderful, I texted Hubby that I needed to talk to him. He's in Switzerland and was just waking up. He called me right before the nurse came in to take us to recovery to see my baby, so I was the completely annoying person talking on the phone while this terribly important thing is going on, but her daddy was on skype to my cell phone, and he had to go to work soon, and he was pretty freaked out by the news, so I couldn't really just brush him off. Thing 2 wasn't really waking up very fast, and since it was 11:30 at night they decided to let her sleep and take her up to her room. So my father and I followed her up there, me filling Hubby in on the cell phone all the way. We got to the room and a nurse followed us into the room carrying a bright red slushee. Thing 2 would have hollered Hallenoonjah! She did start opening her eyes more after she got settled in. Hubby had to go to work, and Thing 2 woke up enough to realize there was a slushee waiting for her and started opening her mouth like a little bird for it.
She drank three little cup things of cranberry juice, and ate the slushee down to the melty part at the bottom which she took with a straw. She was VERY thirsty!
She stayed up watching The Incredibles - I had the DVDs in the car from our trip- and eating and drinking until finally I asked her around 12:30 if she wanted to go to bed. She agreed.
They came in periodically of course to do hospitally stuff, but everything went smoothly. Around 6:00 a.m. they checked her fingers, then told us after she had taken some Loritab with breakfast and we saw how she handled that, she could go.
We got home around 9:30 this morning.
Thing 1 and my mom and sister are going to drive down with the dog. Thing 2 is busy watching TV, and keeping her arm elevated.
She is the one who needs to recover, but I'm the one who needs to sleep.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thing 2's first group email
I signed my kids up for emails. I had heard there were some good systems for kids, so I did a quick google search and found zoobuh. It had to be a quick search because Thing 2 was gyrating excitedly behind me the whole time firing off questions about was it done yet. I signed them up and Thing 2 immediately started emailing everyone I know. This is one of her first emails... I thought it was so cute I wanted to save it. There is no preamble, this is the whole email minus her signature.
One day i saw a brain pop jr video, (Brainpop jr is an egecatinol thing for kids.) About E-MAILS. I got ubsessesd that Annie and Moby had their own acount thing. (Annie and Moby are the 2 main characters.) I wanted a thing like they had, I asked my mom "Can I have one of thoughs?" She said "I'll think about it." The next day I asked her again. She said, "Remind me lader!" I reminded her EVERYWHERE. Finally, We were taking a bath and I came down stairs and asked. AGAIN. Then she looked up on Google kids E-mailing. This girl online said "Try Zoobuh." So we did, and my hair was still wet and everything. Finally it took a long time but Mom got me started. Thats how I got my E-mailing acount
Watch out world wide web; here she comes!!!
One day i saw a brain pop jr video, (Brainpop jr is an egecatinol thing for kids.) About E-MAILS. I got ubsessesd that Annie and Moby had their own acount thing. (Annie and Moby are the 2 main characters.) I wanted a thing like they had, I asked my mom "Can I have one of thoughs?" She said "I'll think about it." The next day I asked her again. She said, "Remind me lader!" I reminded her EVERYWHERE. Finally, We were taking a bath and I came down stairs and asked. AGAIN. Then she looked up on Google kids E-mailing. This girl online said "Try Zoobuh." So we did, and my hair was still wet and everything. Finally it took a long time but Mom got me started. Thats how I got my E-mailing acount
Watch out world wide web; here she comes!!!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Prayer
Tonight Thing 1 said:
" ... And thank thee for our wuuuunderful mother... And thank thee for our wuuuunderful father..... whom our wuuuunderful mother decided to mate with...."
" ... And thank thee for our wuuuunderful mother... And thank thee for our wuuuunderful father..... whom our wuuuunderful mother decided to mate with...."
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Me 2
I was going to walk the kids over to hear the concert, but I found U2 wasn't coming on until 8:30. Bedtime.
Turns out I didn't need to, they can hear it pretty well from their room. This way Bono can sing them to sleep...
I just read Annie's blog and on second thought maybe I shouldn't post this. It's pretty pathetic that my claim to fame is that I can hear the concert as I'm typing. It's kinda cool, though. My kids got to bed pretty late because I was upstairs dancing around their room, where the concert comes in just a little clearer. "Oh, oh! This is a great song!!"
OH WAIT! I just got this from my brother.
Turns out hearing the concert in my kitchen isn't my only claim to fame... And now I'm getting it in stereo because it's coming in over the monitor too... Apparently my wicked awesome brother and sister-in-law are at the concert! That's only one degree of separation from fame! Wooo hooo! And looks like they have pretty darn good seats, too! Look at those speaker towers... no wonder I can hear it at my house! Well yippeee for them!!! See, they're still totally hip. Even though he's older than me, he was always hipper than me. It helps that they have a daughter old enough to babysit their younger daughters, which I believe lends itself to actually having a life. And they aren't trolls living in the dark completely unaware of current events unless they're blasting into their kitchens at 80 decibels.
Rock on, big brother. Rock on.
Turns out I didn't need to, they can hear it pretty well from their room. This way Bono can sing them to sleep...
I just read Annie's blog and on second thought maybe I shouldn't post this. It's pretty pathetic that my claim to fame is that I can hear the concert as I'm typing. It's kinda cool, though. My kids got to bed pretty late because I was upstairs dancing around their room, where the concert comes in just a little clearer. "Oh, oh! This is a great song!!"
OH WAIT! I just got this from my brother.
Rock on, big brother. Rock on.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Current Events
We were listening to a radio program yesterday and they were talking about infidelity. Arnold and Maria came up as did a swarm of other politicians and celebrities and people famous for stepping out on their spouses. They also indicated there is a surprising number of people in happy marriages who are unfaithful.
Hubby assured me he has no plans to stray.
But would he tell me if he was planning on anything?
I do take some comfort in the fact that so many computer programmers are basement trolls; overweight men, and total nerds.
Though of course not all.
I take comfort where I can.
Hubby assured me he has no plans to stray.
But would he tell me if he was planning on anything?
I do take some comfort in the fact that so many computer programmers are basement trolls; overweight men, and total nerds.
Though of course not all.
I take comfort where I can.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Mother's Day
Mother's Day is a tough holiday. I love my mother dearly, and I remember as a kid it seemed hard to make her Mother's Day special enough. Yet on the other hand I felt jilted that she got her birthday AND this Mother's Day thing. Luckily she seemed very happy with a card or simple gift I'd made her, and she even choked down our attempts at breakfast in bed. Of course those were better when Dad was involved.
When I grew older, into the range of where a lot of people my age were mothers, in addition to being a celebration for my mother, it became a somewhat uncomfortable reminder of what was not happening in my life. A reminder of what could be but wasn't happening to me. As those years stretched out, I resolved myself that it was becoming more and more unlikely that I would ever be a mom.
Then I got married and suddenly there was a choice to make. Because of my age, it was not completely just a natural sequence of events for us to have children. It was a choice. Neither one of us felt our lives would be devastated if we didn't have children. It was pretty much assumed by everyone, including us, that we would, but we could have decided that the risks created by my being near 40 were too high, the disappointment of age-related infertility was too much for us to take. After all most people my age had already had kids and had decided not to have any more several years before.
I looked around at people in my family and my job who were my are or older and saw quite a number of examples of older children who were very close to their parents. My mother and father are two of my best friends. At our family reunions, watching my cousins just younger than me interacting with their parents... and I decided this is a very valuable thing. I decided I wanted to have children more for the potential relationships I can have with them when they're older. I wasn't in it for the babies, I was in it for a "Make your own friends" situation down the road.
We still faced all the age related complications. What if I couldn't get pregnant? What if there were serious complications? We decided to move forward and address each hurdle as it came.
However there were no real hurdles, and nine months and 27 minutes after we decided to have a baby, there she was! The second one took a few months longer from the decision point to the birth, but not long enough for us to even start discussing any alternatives.
So I became a mother. It took years for that mantle to really settle on my shoulders. I've heard of people saying (because I looked for it) that it wasn't until their kids were old enough to talk, and call them "mom" that they really felt like a mother. For me it took several years after that.
Maybe because when I got married I was reaching the age where people stop having children, and because in order to avoid the disappointment of not having children I had resigned myself that I wouldn't, the adjustment to motherhood was a little more difficult and drawn out for me. For the longest time I'd hear people gush, "I just can't imagine what I'd do without my kids!!" And I'd think geez, I can sure imagine what I'd do without them... Don't get me started! My life without them would be like... my life before them! Uncomplicated, straightforward, simple. Dates with my husband, eating where and when I wanted without a thought as to "Will there be a playland, let alone something my picky eater will actually eat?" No strollers, porta-cribs, diaper bags. No coming home exhausted only to have the real work of getting the baby bathed, fed, and into bed before you can think about yourself.
My kids are 7 and 9, and it really struck me this last mother's day that I do feel like a mom. I think it's been creeping up for a couple years now, but it took the celebration to make me stop and think about it. Maybe it's because we can have movie nights again though they're often with the kids. And I even take the kids to the movies sometimes when Hubby's out of town. They are growing into those companions that I had looked for when we decided to have kids.
My role has moved away from having to answer their every tiny need, that constant care that a baby requires. While they still require a lot of care, and yes, mothering, they are moving toward independence and have become their own people with their own senses of humor, and their own abilities and strengths.
It was interesting how much I missed Thing 2 when she went from half day kindergarten to full day 1st grade. Suddenly she was no longer my shopping and Costco lunch companion. Thing 1 has always hated shopping since she was old enough to express an opinion, and has made it clear she didn't like me dragging her from store to store... but Thing 2 kind of got a kick out of it. She was a great shopper and a wonderful little buddy. When she went into full day school, I stopped having lunch at Costco. It is no longer fun there by myself.
I am a little worried about the trouble ahead with their teenage years, but I hope it will be a bump in the road on their way to being delightful people. My evil "Make your own friends" scheme is well on its way.
Last Mother's Day my kids went all out and made a big party for me. I believe this is mostly due to Hubby's involvement, of course. This year he's been really busy and run down, and Mother's Day was much more subdued. Also, Hubby had already spent all our spare money and more buying me a replacement diamond for our anniversary, which happened in March. (Since we were robbed I've been wearing smaller rings, or even $20 cocktail rings I pick up at costume jewelry stores.) So now I have A wonking big rock, I've been fussing over what setting to choose every since he gave it to me. It's currently being cast at the jewelers and will be everything I ever wanted in a ring, but between the rock and the setting there isn't room in the budget for him to take the girls on a wild shopping spree like they did last year. This year was very nice, don't get me wrong. But the difference between the girls' childish excitement about it last year and their rather aloof response this year was interesting.
Maybe they're growing up a little too fast.
When I grew older, into the range of where a lot of people my age were mothers, in addition to being a celebration for my mother, it became a somewhat uncomfortable reminder of what was not happening in my life. A reminder of what could be but wasn't happening to me. As those years stretched out, I resolved myself that it was becoming more and more unlikely that I would ever be a mom.
Then I got married and suddenly there was a choice to make. Because of my age, it was not completely just a natural sequence of events for us to have children. It was a choice. Neither one of us felt our lives would be devastated if we didn't have children. It was pretty much assumed by everyone, including us, that we would, but we could have decided that the risks created by my being near 40 were too high, the disappointment of age-related infertility was too much for us to take. After all most people my age had already had kids and had decided not to have any more several years before.
I looked around at people in my family and my job who were my are or older and saw quite a number of examples of older children who were very close to their parents. My mother and father are two of my best friends. At our family reunions, watching my cousins just younger than me interacting with their parents... and I decided this is a very valuable thing. I decided I wanted to have children more for the potential relationships I can have with them when they're older. I wasn't in it for the babies, I was in it for a "Make your own friends" situation down the road.
We still faced all the age related complications. What if I couldn't get pregnant? What if there were serious complications? We decided to move forward and address each hurdle as it came.
However there were no real hurdles, and nine months and 27 minutes after we decided to have a baby, there she was! The second one took a few months longer from the decision point to the birth, but not long enough for us to even start discussing any alternatives.
So I became a mother. It took years for that mantle to really settle on my shoulders. I've heard of people saying (because I looked for it) that it wasn't until their kids were old enough to talk, and call them "mom" that they really felt like a mother. For me it took several years after that.
Maybe because when I got married I was reaching the age where people stop having children, and because in order to avoid the disappointment of not having children I had resigned myself that I wouldn't, the adjustment to motherhood was a little more difficult and drawn out for me. For the longest time I'd hear people gush, "I just can't imagine what I'd do without my kids!!" And I'd think geez, I can sure imagine what I'd do without them... Don't get me started! My life without them would be like... my life before them! Uncomplicated, straightforward, simple. Dates with my husband, eating where and when I wanted without a thought as to "Will there be a playland, let alone something my picky eater will actually eat?" No strollers, porta-cribs, diaper bags. No coming home exhausted only to have the real work of getting the baby bathed, fed, and into bed before you can think about yourself.
My kids are 7 and 9, and it really struck me this last mother's day that I do feel like a mom. I think it's been creeping up for a couple years now, but it took the celebration to make me stop and think about it. Maybe it's because we can have movie nights again though they're often with the kids. And I even take the kids to the movies sometimes when Hubby's out of town. They are growing into those companions that I had looked for when we decided to have kids.
My role has moved away from having to answer their every tiny need, that constant care that a baby requires. While they still require a lot of care, and yes, mothering, they are moving toward independence and have become their own people with their own senses of humor, and their own abilities and strengths.
It was interesting how much I missed Thing 2 when she went from half day kindergarten to full day 1st grade. Suddenly she was no longer my shopping and Costco lunch companion. Thing 1 has always hated shopping since she was old enough to express an opinion, and has made it clear she didn't like me dragging her from store to store... but Thing 2 kind of got a kick out of it. She was a great shopper and a wonderful little buddy. When she went into full day school, I stopped having lunch at Costco. It is no longer fun there by myself.
I am a little worried about the trouble ahead with their teenage years, but I hope it will be a bump in the road on their way to being delightful people. My evil "Make your own friends" scheme is well on its way.
Last Mother's Day my kids went all out and made a big party for me. I believe this is mostly due to Hubby's involvement, of course. This year he's been really busy and run down, and Mother's Day was much more subdued. Also, Hubby had already spent all our spare money and more buying me a replacement diamond for our anniversary, which happened in March. (Since we were robbed I've been wearing smaller rings, or even $20 cocktail rings I pick up at costume jewelry stores.) So now I have A wonking big rock, I've been fussing over what setting to choose every since he gave it to me. It's currently being cast at the jewelers and will be everything I ever wanted in a ring, but between the rock and the setting there isn't room in the budget for him to take the girls on a wild shopping spree like they did last year. This year was very nice, don't get me wrong. But the difference between the girls' childish excitement about it last year and their rather aloof response this year was interesting.
Maybe they're growing up a little too fast.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)